beautiful, funny, sad and true

I feel like I’m wasting my life.

No, I don’t mean that in a melancholy way; I’m not feeling bummed out.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  I’ve actually been feeling energized and inspired lately; inspired to change my life again.  I feel that I keep coming up against the same proverbial ceiling that I always come up against eventually, being the ’side’ person in musical situations.  I need to be either the main writer or one of the main writers in a group.  I need to take more chances.  I need to step up my metaphorical game.  I need to have confidence in the marketability of my skills.  My skills get results, you know?  Someone’s making money off of them, and it ain’t me, and that’s unacceptable.

I need to talk to other people who are out there doing it as freelancers, as professionals, not the nay-sayers, or cautious people who are slaves to security.  Working a dead-end job that sucks up my valuable time is getting really old.  I’m watching my life get frittered away, and I’m the only one who can change that, shake it up, and set things right.  I’ve done it before, and I can do it again.

Luckily, I do have a few friends and acquaintances who are making it work, so I have people I can go to and discuss all of this.  Talking to the right people is crucial right now; talking to the wrong people can be poisonous.

Right now I have some things I need to do, and some business to attend to.  In a good way.

This is a really busy week. . .not that I haven’t had plenty to talk about, just haven’t had time to tell about it. Saturday I went and had an awesome breakfast with my friend, and then went to KBOO to record an episode of JBJ’s radio show, which will be aired next week.

Tuesday night I made a nice, improvised dinner for my friend of tofu, bell peppers, tomatoes, garlic, and basil leaves, in a blackberry teriyaki sauce, stir-fried and served with rice. It didn’t come out like I expected, but it was really good nonetheless. Then I went downtown to see a show that featured many of my actor friends. It was very entertaining, and quite the combination of elements. I took lots of pictures; when I have more time I’ll post a few. After the show, a handful of us went around the corner to Ground Kontrol, where we played Rock Band for the first time. I played drums. It was really fun, but a bit weird, too, if you already know how to play the instrument in question. A few guys came up after our song and said, “You’re a real drummer, aren’t you? I could tell. You were using the pedal and everything!” Hilarious.

Last night my friend and I went to sushi and then went looking for a raincoat for her, and then the rest of the time I spent cleaning up after the cooking extraganza the night before. I also watched the movie DIG! after that, which is excellent. I’m definitely planning to watch it again before I return it.

Tonight after work, I’m driving down to Salem for a cello recording session, doing the session (as long as it takes) and then driving home. Tomorrow after work, I’m driving to Yakima for the weekend, to play a gig, and to see a couple of friends. Again, I’ll write more about all of this when I have some more time, and after I have some pictures to show for it.

Why ‘ouroboros’? Because I’ve been so busy lately that the feeling of chasing my own tail isn’t quite enough. . .by the time this weekend is over, I will have caught up with myself, and I may actually find myself able to eat my own tail.

Ew.

Anyway.

Carl Jung is rolling over in his grave right now.

OneYearAgo

Pretty dang good weekend.

Spent Friday evening with Joan.  We intended to watch a movie, but it took so long to make dinner, and we had such a late start, that she ended up leaving after that.  Saturday I cleaned my apartment and did about a million loads of laundry, then I had a gig with Susie, and we stayed out too late drinking and talking.  Sunday I talked on the phone a lot, and then finally got the new tubes put on my bike.  Went to meet Joan again after all that, and we went to a good, cheap sushi place on Northwest 21st, then decided to go see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.  It was a very touching and emotional movie; many people in the audience were sniffling or choked up.  I certainly was.  I can’t wait to read the book, and I highly recommend the movie.

Yesterday I took the day off from work, in order to play accordion on a radio show with Breanna and BassistChris for the Local Music Spotlight show.  As soon as Breanna posts the song on her MySpace page, I’ll post a link to it here for you to check out.

When you first walk into the building, there are five large-screen televisions in the lobby.  I turned to Chris and gestured to them.  “Wow, there sure a a lot of TV’s for a radio station,” and then we both turned around to see the huge sign proclaiming NewsChannel 8, the NBC TV affiliate.

We played two songs, and were done and out of there in about forty-five minutes, with CD in hand.  Apparently the songs will start being played on the air in June, at approximately the same time that the radio station’s compilation CD - on which one of Breanna’s songs will be featured - will be released.  After we were done, we went and had sushi at the same place Joan and I had been to the day before.   That’s how good it was.

I rode my bike to work today, which was the first time I’ve been on a bike in about two years.  It felt great.  That is, it WOULD have felt great if I’d eaten dinner last night, and drunk any water at all, and gotten more than four hours of sleep.  I totally bonked as soon as I got to work, and instantly gulped down three bottles of water before even having to use the bathroom once.  (Don’t you just love my blog?)  Ate a huge chicken burrito for lunch, and kept drinking water for the rest of the day, which made the ride home MUCH easier.  I’m not gonna lie, though.  I’m pathetically and comically lazy and out of shape, ever since I got my car.  But not anymore.  It’s a whole new spring, and time to shake off this lethargic winter.  This experience was a reminder that there’s a right way to exercise, and that I have to plan in advance in order to have enough energy reserves to do what I want my body to do.  Looking forward to a lot more riding!

And much more spring.  After many freezing weeks, it looks like spring is finally going to come, and the weekend is supposed to be hot and beautiful.  I, however, will be in Port Townsend, Washington, to play accordion with Fenbi, the Irish band.  I’m sure it’ll be just as beautiful up there.  Love that town.  The best pastry shop I’ve ever been to in my entire life is there.  Why, that would be the Tyler Street Coffee House; I’m glad you asked.   If I lived in Port Townsend, I’m sure I’d weigh four hundred pounds from eating there all the time.  So f’ing good.

Today at work, a friend surprised me by giving me six CD’s.  They’re almost all by groups I’ve never heard of, too, which makes it even more exciting.

I find myself, again, at a loss of how to tie up all these little loose ends, and come up with a really good name for this entry.

Well, since this was just a plain old good weekend, all around, I suppose that means that the name should be. . .

I have to hand it to Tossed In for coming up with the best opening line of a blog that I’ve read in quite a while.

“Considering it was Hitler’s birthday, today was so-so.”

Cracked me up. And silly me for missing such a special occasion. How should someone celebrate that, anyway? What do you get for someone who’s responsible for the deaths of eleven million people? I ask you.

Anyway.

The mixing with Andrea went great, and we’re really satisfied with the results. Special kudos once again to DrummerAdam, who completely ruled on those songs, and every time I listen to them, I’m reminded of that fact.

Saturday I was awakened by a strange knocking sound. I got up and walked into the studio, to find a robin sitting in the tree outside the window, staring in at me.

I also couldn’t help but notice how much snow had fallen overnight, so I walked out front to find this tranquil scene:

I must’ve been quite a sight, in my long-sleeved T-shirt, pajama pants, and Doc Martens with no socks. Well, sometimes looking ridiculous is a small price to pay for the sake of Great Art.

I was the first one awake, since I’d slept (or should I say NOT slept?) in my sleeping bag on the floor in the drum room, so I dinked around online for a while, until everyone else woke up. Once they did, Andrea and I went for a walk through the golf course, to take pictures and just get some fresh air for a while, after being cooped up inside all the day before.

We both took about a million pictures, and good thing we did, too, because all the snow had melted by mid-afternoon.

After we were done with mixing, I drove the hour back to Portland, showered, changed my clothes, and then went on a really great date. We were lucky enough to get two rainbows; one in its actual form, in the sky - “Hey, that’s a good omen!” she said - and the other in sushi form; a rainbow roll. It was a wonderful evening - “Let’s do that a whole bunch more times,” I said - and here’s to a ‘whole bunch more’ weekends just like this one.

Tonight I spent an hour on the phone with a great friend who took a very big and gutsy step recently. I choose to say no more about it, but it took great courage to step up and do what he did, and I for one appreciate it whole-heartedly.

What a day this has been. After such a winter-storm-filled weekend, the weather was beautiful, so I didn’t really notice how stressful the day at work was. Went to lunch at CheapGoodMexicanRestaurant with a co-worker friend, and ran into the guy who engineered one of my recent drum recording sessions with Sarah. Not ShinsEngineer, but the other guy. Really nice guy, and since I hadn’t seen him since we did the recording session, it was really great to run into him again.

Sorry if this entry seems a bit cryptic, but I did just want to check in before I head out to rehearse for the play. Incidentally, here’s the flyer for said play:

I know I’ve said it before, but I’m incredibly honored to be a part of this production. It’s hilarious and touching and strange, and I just love it. I’m completely impressed with the people who are creating it, and at the same time, I’m glad to be able to be a part of it, too.

If you’d like to be there, contact me by any means necessary, and I’ll put you in touch with the people you need to be in touch with to get a ticket. They’re a mere ten dollars each. I try not to invite people to every single thing I do, but this one is so unusual–and so great–that if you enjoy what I do, and certainly if you’re a friend of mine, I can pretty much guarantee you that you will have a great time at this show.

This won’t be the last time you’ll hear about it. You will be reminded.

Oh yeah. . .just this second, I remembered that it was April Fools’ Day.

Hunh.

Well.

I don’t know what else to say about that, except that I didn’t get tricked today, and I also have to leave for rehearsal right now. Talk to you soon!