beautiful, funny, sad & true

Today I heard two strange and memorable things.

I should warn you that this entry may be a little bit. . .uhh. . .well, let’s just say that if your sensibilities lean toward the delicate, then this may not be a good entry for you. There’s no bad language or anything, but there’s plenty of talk about bodily functions. Did I say ‘plenty’? I should’ve said ‘all’, I suppose, because that’s pretty much the entire subject of this entry.

You’ve been warned.

Still with me? Okay, then you must be the kind of person who knows that sometimes you have to sink low to catch the really big fish, so here we go, hand in virtual hand, down to the literary and blogospherical depths.

Around ten o’ clock this morning, I took a break from work and went to the restroom. While I was standing at the urinal, I heard someone in the stall doing some text messaging while they were going Number Two. Now I don’t know why that bothered me so much, but it did. Taptaptap–PFFFT–taptaptap–(gruuuuunt)PLOP/SPLASH(exhale)–taptaptap. The images that came to mind were just not good ones. I hope he washes his hands like a maniac, and I also hope that none of his friends ever has an emergency and needs to use his phone. Okay, so that was Part One.

Part Two was when he started going Number One, and it suddenly sounded like he turned a faucet on in there. I’m talking about a big faucet. I thought to myself, ‘Man, that guy must have a huge urethra!’ Then I thought, ‘IT’S TEN O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING; I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT URETHRAS, ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE NOT EVEN MY OWN.’ I washed my hands quickly, left the restroom and walked back to my desk.

Normally this is where the blog entry would end. But not today; ohhhhh no.

This afternoon, in another trip to the restroom, I was standing at the urinal when a guy walked in, talking on his cell phone. That in itself is a little weird, but then he turned, walked into the stall and started urinating loudly, WHILE HE WAS STILL ON THE PHONE. I mean, come ON, dude, not only does your girlfriend have to listen to you peeing while you’re on the phone with her, but I have to listen to you peeing AND talking on the phone to your girlfriend. Do us all a favor next time and call her back when you’re done.

SHEESH.

People, man. I’m tellin’ ya, they drive me crazy.

You’ll be glad to know that I’ve pretty much been laying low this whole weekend, so I’m feeling much more like myself again.

Saturday morning, I rode the MAX downtown to meet my dad and stepmom at Jake’s Grill for breakfast. It went…okay. Uhhh, it’s complicated. After they left, I went and looked for a new pair of shoes, but couldn’t find any that I liked. Came home and ended up doing laundry, dishes, boring stuff like that. Shelby and I were going to go to MusicFest NW, but the only bands we wanted to see we’d already seen before (for the most part) or were friends with or whatever, so we decided to give it a miss. Plus it would have been ridiculously late–the last band, Derby, didn’t start until 1:00 a.m.– and she had to work at 8:00 the next day. As I’m sure you can imagine, I sure needed the rest, so I was quite happy to stay home. I ended up watching “I Heart Huckabees.”

Today, Joan and I went to see “La Vie En Rose” in the theater. We both thought it was excellent, and the girl who played Edith Piaf is an incredible actress, but be warned. Her life story is an e x t r e m e l y tragic one. We were both feeling really sad afterwards, so we went for a walk through my neighborhood and then went for gelato.

After that, I drove way out to Beaverton to get another guitar amp, like this one. Since Steph’s band has been playing so many big shows lately, I’ve been using my bigger amp more. It’s forty-five years old now, and it’s the best-sounding amp I’ve ever heard in my entire life, but it’s a little bit too old and fragile to use day in and day out. It gets ‘tired’ on long gigs, and it loses a little of its edge. So I found one on Craigslist that will be perfect. I almost didn’t get it because one the aftermarket speaker had a problem, and the guy had also swapped the original power tubes for lower-output ones. (This just means it wasn’t nearly as loud or as clear-sounding as it would normally be.) We tried lots of different things, and he ended up putting back the original speaker and the high-output tubes, and suddenly the amp completely came to life again. It sounded loud and and pristine; just the way it’s supposed to. I can’t wait to use it at the show on Wednesday night, which I’m really looking forward to because Steph’s band is opening for the Paperboys, who are pretty big-time. If you live in Portland, please come see us!

So.

I’m feeling much better tonight than I was on Freaky Friday, just two short days ago. Amazing what a little rest can do for a person.

Well, it’s happened again; I’ve hit the proverbial wall.

After seven gigs in the last ten days (many of which were out of town), work being extremely stressful and hellish this week (despite having Monday off), and having some very heavy emotional discussions, I’m throwing in the towel. Complete exhaustion has set in.

Tonight I’m staying home and collapsing, and I believe a bath is in order.

Tomorrow the craziness will begin anew, but for tonight, I’ve had just about as much as I can handle. Time to ‘check out’ and shut down for a while.

Blissfully.

Here it comes. . .

Yesterday we had a bunch of lay-offs at work. No, I wasn’t one of them–thank gawd–but two people in my department were on the list. One actually volunteered to go. We knew something big was coming, so we were waiting all day to hear what the huge news was going to be, and who was going to be gone. We were all on pins and needles all day. I didn’t realize just how tense I was until I was at home, and I was able to breathe again.

As if I didn’t have enough to think about, it turned out that one of my friends had a bunch of ‘frustrations’ with me lately, and she hadn’t known how to tell me about them before. So we had to have that discussion. Most were valid frustrations (some were simple misunderstandings), and we ended up talking it all out, but suffice it to say that yesterday wasn’t the best day I’ve ever had.

FOR THE RECORD: If there’s something you need to tell me, PLEASE tell me. It’s infinitely better and easier that way.

Thank you.

We now return you to the witty, insightful blog, already in progress.

I need to ask a smallish favor today.

Would you please send me an e-mail or text or comment or something? My normally indomitable spirit isn’t quite so indomitable today.

I could use a hug.