I was paid to fly with you, Batman

funny, music, pictures No Comments »

So there’s this whole series of videos on [read the following with a Cockney accent] TubeWhatBelongsToYou [okay, now you can go back to your normal voice] called Shreds, and the videos are pure genius.  The person who makes them takes existing videos of a famous musician or band and they overdub the various instruments and vocals based on what’s happening on the screen,  making it sound as crappy and as funny as possible.

Warning:  the videos are highly addictive.

Here’s my personal favorite, which is a Kiss video from the 1970′s.  The real song is “I Was Made For Loving You” (click here to watch the original, but definitely don’t until after you’ve watched the ‘shred’ video).

‘I can’t say philanto-papa. . .Pikachu!’

I could watch these all day, and I know I can, actually, because that’s what a good part of yesterday consisted of; that and then a longish recording session in the evening for IrishBand.

mona lisa

dreams 1 Comment »

I had another dream this morning with a great story, so here it is.  It’s not a novel, either, like the last one I transcribed was.

* * * * *

An attractive blonde woman of around thirty is sitting in a chair in her friend’s living room, talking to her two friends, who are both about ten years older than she is.  (The real-life location is my mom’s current living room.)  The three of them are talking about life and current events, when the woman suddenly picks up a spiral-bound notebook and a blue ball-point pen.  She turns the notebook horizontally and writes two words perpendicular to the lines on the page, then holds it aloft so that her friends can read what she has written.

monalisa

“What does this mean?” she asks, careful not to say the two written words aloud, since they named a top-secret government operation that had recently been exposed on the news.  “It’s everywhere now.  Everyone’s talking about it.”

Her friends are thunderstruck.  “How dare you bring that in here!  Don’t involve us in this!”  They turn and run from the room, making for the front door, but even before they reach it, a few nondescript cars pull up outside the house, and five undercover agents appear at the door.  The agents barge in and escort the two friends from the house into two of the waiting cars.

The woman takes the notebook and runs into the bedroom, partially undresses, and jumps into bed.  The agents haven’t seen her, at least for now, so she decides to try subterfuge.  She reaches underneath the bed and pushes the spiral notebook as far back as she can reach, then slides back under the covers, where she stays for the rest of the day and night.

The woman is my girlfriend.

It is now very early in the morning, long before sunrise, but there is the beginning of light on the horizon.  After being out very late, I arrive at the house, unaware of these events.  I go into the bedroom, undress down to my boxer briefs, and get into bed.  She is awake, waiting for me, and she asks me to hold her.   Naturally, I oblige.  The alarm clock radio comes on suddenly and loudly, to the news, which I find extremely distracting.  I look around to find the radio in the windowsill, behind the curtain, and get up to turn it off.  It has four unmarked buttons on the back, so I try them all, and the fourth button is the one that finally ceases the racket.  I walk back to bed and lie down.  My girlfriend is lying on her back now, and I lie down on my side next to her, resting my head on her shoulder so that I can nuzzle her neck.  I reach my arm around her to hold her close again.  We hold each other that way for a while, then start to kiss and touch each other.

Suddenly two of the agents appear in the room, rip the covers off of us and grab her out of the bed.  She frantically tries to cover up and get dressed from the clothes that are still on the chair where she left them, next to the bed.  Agent One, who is black, is dealing with her, and Agent Two, a white guy with close-cropped light brown hair, is dealing with me.  “Get up,” he says, gripping my arm roughly with his left hand.  “And what is this?”  With his right hand, he reaches to the night table next to the bed, where there is a small, round bottle of moisturizing cream.  He presses down on the nozzle and a giant red glob squirts out.   “It’s got blood in it?!” he yells, and grabs the glob.  “I’ve never seen this before.”  It quickly becomes gelatinous and extremely sticky.  He moves my arm so that my hand is in the glob.  “Where’s your other hand?” he yells.  I bring my other hand around, and he pushes it into the glob as well, and now I’m unable to move my hands at all.  It’s as if I’ve been handcuffed.  He drags me out of the bedroom, through the hallway, and outside through the garage.

I look around and realize that we are at my childhood home.  The two agents ask me, “What do you know about all this?”

“Nothing,” I say.  “Not a thing.”

“Give us a break,” Agent One says, as he pulls the notebook from behind him and shows me the words that are written on the page.  I instantly recognize the handwriting.  “We know all about this,” he continues.

“Yeah, ‘mona lisa’. . .so what?” I ask.  “I listen to the news.  Doesn’t everybody?”

Agent One gives me a stern, exasperated look, but Agent Two is transfixed by the tallish pine tree next to the driveway.  He has a pained look on his face, tears in his eyes, and he speaks in a choked voice.  “Lots of. . .explosions. . .here.”  The pine tree looks very thinned out, in a way that it never has before, and the three of us can clearly see a small, green, leafy tree growing up inside the middle of it.  It appears to be a living monument of some kind.  “Lots of explosions,” the man repeats.  He is about to cry.

“Tell me about them,” I say, walking toward him.  “I lived here in 1972, 1973–”  The two men exchange glances as if those years are significant.  I count off each year on my fingers as I’m talking.  “–1974, 1975, 1976, well. . .from 1972 until 1987, and we never knew anything about explosions.  Anything you can tell me about that would be greatly appreciated.”

The three of us walk toward the car and get in, the agents in the front seats and me in the back.  I look around for my girlfriend, but she is nowhere to be seen.  I start to ask about her, but Agent Two deflects my question by telling us how hungry he is.  Agent One sides with him and says to everyone and no one, “Doesn’t a cheeseburger sound good right now?”   I stare at him incredulously.  It’s seven o’clock in the morning.  Agent One rolls his window down a bit, Agent Two hits the accelerator, and we drive off.

Then the dream changes, and the three of us are eating cheeseburgers from YellowArches.  Mine is a triple cheeseburger.  Agent One takes a huge bite of his burger and turns around from the passenger seat to talk to me.  His mouth is full, and he’s got a blissful smile on his face as he masticates.  “Mm,” he says, “nothing like a cheeseburger, especially in the morning.  I’m right, aren’t I?  It’s good.”

“I haven’t had a real meat burger for years,” I tell him.  “I always have Bocas these days, so if I suddenly go into a food coma, you guys’ll know why.”  We all laugh.

The dream’s location changes again, and I’m in an interrogation room.  There are a few chairs scattered around the floor, and there is a white dry-erase board with a lot of writing on it.  It’s my girlfriend’s handwriting.  Apparently she has been questioned here recently.  I take a glance at the answers that she’s written.  Most are simple, like her name, and date of birth, that sort of thing, as well as a list of things she’d been doing that day.  She also wrote ‘mona lisa’ on the board, so that the agents could compare her handwriting to that in the notebook.

The last two sentences were written in a way that my girlfriend and I had invented for dry-erase boards, and only the two of us could read it.  If we wrote a sentence, looked away, and then looked back again quickly, the words changed, one or two at a time, until the sentence became something completely new and different.  To anyone else, however, the original sentence is all they would see.  So here’s an example.  The penultimate sentence on the white board morphed like this:

I never got out of bed.

I never was good in bed.

I never got away from the bed.

I never got away from THAT MAN.

Suddenly, the door to the room opened, and she walked in silently, and stood with tears welling up in her eyes, looking up at me, as I read the words to the last sentence, which morphed like this:

GOOD BYE

IN EED BYE

I NEED YOU

I LOVE YOU

a new take on take on me

funny, pictures No Comments »

lots of big musical news, and links galore

Portland, blogging, funny, music, pictures, recording, true No Comments »

I can NOT believe how busy life has been for these last two weeks.  I had two huge shows, both of which required tons of preparation and rehearsal with the various groups.  The first one was on St. Patrick’s Day with IrishBand. . .

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. . .which was a total blast.  We played for four hours that night, with a couple one-hour breaks while another band played in between our sets.  We kept people there, singing and dancing and rockin’ out until 2:00 a.m.   Since then, we had a smaller (but just as fun) show and started doing more recording at my place.  We finished the drum tracks for one song, and started them on a second.

The next huge show after St. P’s Day was the CD release party for Susie Blue, which took place at the new-and-improved Mississippi Studios.  That was already one of my favorite places to play, but now it’s been revamped and enlarged, turning it into quite possibly the best of the medium-sized venues in Portland.

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Without getting too far into geek-out territory, after the second song, I looked down to find that the lights on my big keyboard were off.  I had accidentally set the accordion on the power strip switch and turned it off, which meant that I lost all of the good sounds I had loaded into it specifically for that show.  I had a nice little freak-out moment onstage, and told Susie, “I lost power.”  “How long will it take to re-load everything?” she asked.  “It’d take way too long.  I’ll figure something out.”  Luckily I had my tiny Casio (which you can see on top of the big keyboard) there for one song, because I ended up using it on lots of songs.  It totally saved the day, and the show went off without another hitch.  For an eleven-piece band (most of whom were not onstage during the song that was being performed when this picture was taken), that’s quite a feat indeed.

Incidentally, here’s a song from Susie’s new CD called “Fading” on which I play accordion and drums, and also was part of the hand-clapping and cheering.  I play accordion on a bunch of the other songs, as well as piano and Omnichord.  If you’re interested, you can check out our web site, and listen to or buy some songs from CDBaby.

Three days ago, my life got overtaken by a project that a bass player friend of mine called me to fill in for.  There’s a dance group in town called Bodyvox, who created dance interpretations to a bunch of Tom Waits’ songs, with a live band and a handful of opera singers.  The guy who’s playing accordion and electric guitar (as well as saxopohone and slide guitar) can’t make it to the show on Saturday, so my bassist friend, who is the musical director for the show, called me in a panic on Tuesday.  Since then, my life has been thrown into a frenzy of learning songs, as well as attending rehearsals and performances as an understudy of sorts.  The show I’m playing is the matinee show on Saturday afternoon, and I’m feeling confident about it.   I’m listening to the CD as I’m writing this, as a matter of fact.  I’m on the song Hoist That Rag, which features one of my favorite guitarists, Marc Ribot.

Add to that the recording sessions I’ve had at my place recently, both for money and for IrishBand, and you get a very busy Todd.  SO busy, in fact, that this is the first time I’ve had to write anything at all, aside from the occasional link to a video or something.  I almost added a clip from “Girl on the Bridge” an amazing French movie which I watched last night.  It just came out on DVD, which is strange because it’s only about ten years old, and I can’t imagine why its DVD release was held up for such a long time.   Well, what the heck, here’s a link to what is probably the most famous scene.  I love this movie, because it never quite goes in the directions you think it’s going to go.  Very similar to Angel-A.

The song (sung by Marianne Faithfull) is also amazing.  If you’ve ever seen “City of Lost Children”, you may recognize it from the ending credits; that’s the movie for which it was originally written, but it’s since appeared in many others as well.

Well, that’s what’s been going on with me lately.  I know it’s a lot to handle in one blog entry, from songs to pictures to movie links and clips and everything else, but. . .well. . .welcome to my world these days.  I had a lot to share, and it may be another few days before I have another chance to write again, so there’s that.

Hope all in your world is well!

connections

pictures, true 1 Comment »

James Burke is a genius.

I’m kind of obsessed with a show he did for the BBC called Connections, which had its first incarnation in the 1970′s, but had two later incarnations in the 1990′s as well.  I saw the 90′s versions when they originally aired, and was mesmerized by them, so today I went back and found the original series online, and I’ve been slowly but surely watching them.

They’re all about various inventions that have changed the history of civilization as we know it, but his masterful storytelling makes each episode like a mystery, where we only know have as much information to go on as people at the time did.   He starts by showing us the modern invention, and takes us clear back to the beginning, showing us the salient points of progress that happened along the way.

It’s really brilliant.

Here’s the first part of the first episode of the first incarnation of the series.  I have no doubt that you’ll find them riveting as well.